Tuesday, December 21, 2010
'Twas the night before Christmas', when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; the stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that ST. NICHOLAS soon would be there. The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads; And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap, had just settled down for a long winter's nap, When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow gave the luster of mid-day to objects below, When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer, With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick. More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, and he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name: "Now, DASHER! Now, DANCER! Now, PRANCER and VIXEN! On, COMET! On CUPID! On, DONDER and BLITZEN! To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"
"As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky, so up to the house-top the coursers they flew, With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too. And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof the prancing and pawing of each little hoof. As I drew in my hand, and was turning around, down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound. He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot; A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! His dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard of his chin was as white as the snow; the stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath. He had a broad face and a little round belly, which shook, when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly. He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself; a wink of his eye and a twist of his head, soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk, Laying his finger aside of his nose, And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose. He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight. "HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT."
Q - How can Santa's sleigh possibly fly through the air?
A - You would too if you were pulled by flying reindeer!
Q - How do you make a slow reindeer fast ?
A - Don't feed it !
Q - How do you get into Donner's house?
A - You ring the "deer"-bell!
Q - How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
A - He looks at his calen-"deer"!
Q - I'm so strong I could lift a reindeer with one hand.
A - Yeah, but where are we going to find a one-handed reindeer?
Q - What's a child's favourite king at Christmas?
A - A stoKING
Q- What do elves learn in school?
Q- What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Q- What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Q- Who sings "Love me tender", and makes Christmas toys?
A- Santa's little Elvis. (Elvis lives!
Q- Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?
Q- What do you have in December that you don`t have in any other month? A- A
A - The letter "D”!
Q - What did the cow say on Christmas morning?
A - Mooooey Christmas!
Q - What never eats at Christmas time?
A - Turkey, it is usually stuffed!
Q - What do you get if a vampire crosses the road with jack frost?
A - Frost bite!
Q - Why did the duck cross the road?
A - To quack open the eyes.
Q - What is the best xmas present in the world?
A - A broken drum, coz u can't beat it!
Why is it difficult to keep a secret at the North Pole?
A - Because your teeth chatter!
Q - How do Chihuahua's say Merry Christmas?
A - Fleas Navidog!
Q - What do sheep say to shepherds at Christmastime?
A - Season's Bleatings!
Q - What do you call an elf who steals gift wrap from the rich and gives it to the poor?
A - Ribbon Hood!
Q - What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A - It's Christmas, Eve!
Q - What is the best key to get at Christmas?
A - A turkey!
Q - What do wild animals sing at Christmastime?
A - Jungle bells, jungle bells, jungle all the way!
Q - A Christmas thought:
A - STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward.
Q - Why do Mummies like Christmas so much?
A - Because of all the wrapping!